Wah, this blog has been dead for months! What can i say? There are so many ups and downs, ujians? Yup, test after test. Sometimes, when I think about it, why do i have these repeated test? There are all the same, and I guess I havent passed my test? Owwh dear…

Today, is very tiring, well everyday is always tiring for me, but amazingly, I’m still awake! It’s 1.00 am now that I’m writing.

Actually, I just remembered about my this abandoned blog for months! Since now I’ve got a brand new cheap laptop, I actually bought a mini foldable wherever you want it to be which is meant for laptops! Yes! i just bought it from hua ho yayasan. I found it cool because it comes with the fan, and so you do not need to worry about heated up lappy.

Yesterday, I was leading this mini program for my dear girlfriends, and went back home soooo tired that I just couldn’t be bothered about my two whiiinnnyyy kittens. Owh poor kittysss, i know you guys missedd me so much!=P Above all that I really2 missseddd my hubeh! I was all tired anyway, so i guess its good that he is not around! Not!=P

Apart from that,  I bought a coffee maker! Yess, a coffee maker! This machine had made me curious for years! I just cant imagine how this thing actually worked, until finally I saw my sister has one in her room. Typical me, I was sooo sakaaiing and so fidgetting how this machine work. Now I got one, yeayy~~This thing is so cool! It boils water just in a minute! Well not a hundred degree though, just hot! enough for mee~ heheheh

There is nothing islamic for now, but ill try to keep up with my post, and hoping that it will be very useful to any reader out there. Ok guys, out and mitt mittt~

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Ya Allah
Kau ampunilah dosa ku yang telah ku perbuat
Kau limpahkanlah aku dengan kesabaran yang tiada terbatas
Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan mental
Kau kurniakanlah aku dengan sifat keredhaan
Kau peliharalah lidahku dari kata-kata nista
Kau kuatkanlah semangatku menempuhi segala cabaranMu
Kau berikanlah aku sifat kasih sesama insan

Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah pilihan Mu di Arsy (Al Marfu’atun ‘Ilmi)
Berilah aku kekuatan dan keyakinan untuk terus bersamanya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah suami yg akan membimbing tanganku dititianMu
Kurniakanlah aku sifat kasih dan redha atas segala perbuatannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah bidadara untuk ku di Jannah Mu
Limpahkanlah aku dengan sifat tunduk dan tawaduk akan segala perintahnya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah yang terbaik untukku di DuniaMu
Peliharalah tingkah lakuku serta kata-kataku dari menyakitkan perasaannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini jodoh yang dirahmati olehMu
Berilah aku kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala kerenah dan ragamnya

Tetapi
Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini ditakdirkan bukan untuk diriku seorang
Kau tunjukkanlan aku jalan yg terbaik untuk aku harugi segala dugaanMu
Sekiranya suami ku tergoda dengan keindahan dunia Mu
Limpahkanlah aku kesabaran untuk terus membimbingnya
Sekiranya suami ku tunduk terhadap nafsu yang melalaikan
Kurniakanlah aku kekuatanMu untuk aku memperbetolkan keadaanya
Sekiranya suami ku menyintai kesesatan
Kau pandulah aku untuk menarik dirinya keluar dari terus terlena

Ya Allah
Kau yang Maha Megetahui apa yang terbaik untukku
Kau juga yang Maha Mengampuni segala kesilapan dan ketelanjuranku
Sekiranya aku tersilap berbuat keputusan
Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang Engkou redhai
Sekiranya aku lalai dalam tanggungjawabku sebagai isteri
Kau hukumlah aku didunia tetapi bukan diakhiratMu
Sekiranya aku engkar dan derhaka
Berilah aku petunjukkan kearah rahmatMu

Ya Allah sesungguhnya
Aku lemah tanpa petunjukMu
Aku buta tanpa bimbinganMu
Aku cacat tanpa hidayahMu
Aku hina tanpa RahmatMu

Ya Allah
Kuatkan hati dan semangatku
Tabahkan aku menghadapi segala cubaanMu
Jadikanlah aku isteri yang disenangi suami
Bukakanlah hatiku untuk menghayati agamaMu
Bimbinglah aku menjadi isteri Soleha

Hanya padaMu Ya Allah ku pohon segala harapan
Kerana aku pasrah dengan dugaanMu
Kerana aku sedar hinanya aku
Kerana aku insan lemah yg kerap keliru
Kerana aku leka dengan keindahan duniamu
Kerana kurang kesabaran ku menghadapi cabaranMu
Kerana pendek akal ku mengharugi ujianMu

Ya Allah Tuhanku…
Aku hanya ingin menjadi isteri yang dirahmati
Isteri yang dikasihi
Isteri yang solehah
Isteri yang sentiasa dihati

Amin Ya Rabbi Allamin..

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Hows everyone? This blog seems abandoned for quite a long time already. I need to get started back after so much test and hoping more test to come, because test are response from Allah .

Remember? If we do something for Allah and in return, we will be tested. On top of that, Allah still reminds us that the test is bearable! Its like sitting  for an examinations based on the syllabus that we have covered during lessons!

Allah does not burden any human being with a responsibility heavier than he can bear. Everyone will enjoy the fruit of the good that one has earned and shall suffer for the evil that one has committed.(O Believers, pray like this to Allah: ) “Our Lord, take us not to task if we forget and lapse into error inadvertently. Lord! lay not on us the kind of burdens that You had lain on the people before us. Lord, lay not on us the kind of burden that we have not the strength to bear. Be kind to us, forgive us and show mercy to us. You are our Protector : help us against the disbelievers Al Baqara 286

InsyaAllah, as what one of my ukhtis said to keep me strong, ‘Everything is going to be ok..’ Love yeww ukhti!! (you will know who you are if you still remember what you have said!! =P)

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Asiff jiddan..

Khaifahaluka? Ana bikhair…Alhamdulilahh

It has been how many months that i have not posted anything here? It has been a long time! I have my own reasons to that but Allah knows best!(I’ve checked, it has been almost a year!!)

Since there are so many things happening in my life, I have become very cautious in every single things that I do. Life has taught me that there are friends and there are enemies. Sometimes we do not know who are our enemies and who are really our true friends. But what I believe, all my sisters are my true friends! No matter what i think about them, i still believe that there are my true friends! I just believe that there are gifts from Allah !

Answers to questions in my heart has been answered slowly, and how happier I am now has no idea what I have been thru. *sigh*

Recently has been hectic and unexpected. Hurt, tired, and all that you can think of being in a state of just want to give up. Yes, almost but did not happen. Tried to be really strong but there is always things going along the way. When it comes to a phase where you think it has been sorted out, well Allah has better plan for us. Yes, that’s all I have that keep me going and strong, Allah is always be there for you and no matter what you think or feel. There was once I prayed,

‘Oh my Lord, there are so many problems and there are times I could not bear anymore, where I knew this is the best for me, oh my Lord!, You are my only hope and that can keep me strong in facing all these test from you! Please keep me in Your path and You hear and answer all prayers!’

And guess what happened? All I got is another bigger test! Not that I am complaining but to keep me strong is just so hurting up to the point where I just want to get away from everyone and never come back. How stupid I was! Yes! That is what I had in mind. Just shut the door to my life and leave.

Urghhh…I was so weak but when I got strongger a bigger one came along! How hard was that?

Now, when I look back, that was not easy, but I got thru it! I knew I will get something out of it! And yes I did! I got all my loved ones back, all the things that I never thought of!

All i learnt was that, precautions that has nothing to do what I am talking about right now, is another thing that I should look at living in this world. I got to go now, hope everyone is happy with their loved ones.

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There is nothing else is in my heart but Allah …..my heart has no more rooms for others and…I just love Allah so mucchhhh…and hoping that i can just drive away and get out of this life, like now? How is that possible? Urghhh….
Kun fayakun….Allah makes anything posible…

Am i saying like i have no faith now? Or is this really my iman popping up so high or going down low? My heart cries out loud saying I love Allah only!…..Well, there are other people in my life whom are just my ‘extra bits’  that I feared will always hurt me so much..

“Ya Rasulullah, Aku sangat menyayangi mu…perasaanku sama seperti yang telah kau ajarkan kepada kami, betapa dunia ini lebih hina daripada bangkai….Betapa bencinya aku pada dunia dan sangat rindu akan akherat…”

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Went to the library and sat down on a sofa.Hoping that hurt feeling just washed away, but it did not….remained silent and hurt.

Grabbed the nearest book and turned a few pages ….took out a mobile phone, put the ear piece to the right ear and listened to ‘Doaku’ by Hadad Alwi….While reading….and listening….
Subbhannallah! La Tahzan!!! Burst into tears…
Feeling Allah is so near…tears ran down the cheek, feeling calm and undescribable…..

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