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Assalammualaikum warahmatullahiwabarakatuh
Asiff jiddan..
Khaifahaluka? Ana bikhair…Alhamdulilahh
It has been how many months that i have not posted anything here? It has been a long time! I have my own reasons to that but Allah 
knows best!(I’ve checked, it has been almost a year!!)
Since there are so many things happening in my life, I have become very cautious in every single things that I do. Life has taught me that there are friends and there are enemies. Sometimes we do not know who are our enemies and who are really our true friends. But what I believe, all my sisters are my true friends! No matter what i think about them, i still believe that there are my true friends! I just believe that there are gifts from Allah !
Answers to questions in my heart has been answered slowly, and how happier I am now has no idea what I have been thru. *sigh*
Recently has been hectic and unexpected. Hurt, tired, and all that you can think of being in a state of just want to give up. Yes, almost but did not happen. Tried to be really strong but there is always things going along the way. When it comes to a phase where you think it has been sorted out, well Allah has better plan for us. Yes, that’s all I have that keep me going and strong, Allah is always be there for you and no matter what you think or feel. There was once I prayed,
‘Oh my Lord, there are so many problems and there are times I could not bear anymore, where I knew this is the best for me, oh my Lord!, You are my only hope and that can keep me strong in facing all these test from you! Please keep me in Your path and You hear and answer all prayers!’
And guess what happened? All I got is another bigger test! Not that I am complaining but to keep me strong is just so hurting up to the point where I just want to get away from everyone and never come back. How stupid I was! Yes! That is what I had in mind. Just shut the door to my life and leave.
Urghhh…I was so weak but when I got strongger a bigger one came along! How hard was that?
Now, when I look back, that was not easy, but I got thru it! I knew I will get something out of it! And yes I did! I got all my loved ones back, all the things that I never thought of!
All i learnt was that, precautions that has nothing to do what I am talking about right now, is another thing that I should look at living in this world. I got to go now, hope everyone is happy with their loved ones.
Assalammualaikum…One thing that i really want to do now is..being away from this world…..
There is nothing else is in my heart but Allah …..my heart has no more rooms for others and…I just love Allah so mucchhhh…and hoping that i can just drive away and get out of this life, like now? How is that possible? Urghhh….
Kun fayakun….Allah makes anything posible…
Am i saying like i have no faith now? Or is this really my iman popping up so high or going down low? My heart cries out loud saying I love Allah only!…..Well, there are other people in my life whom are just my ‘extra bits’ that I feared will always hurt me so much..
“Ya Rasulullah, Aku sangat menyayangi mu…perasaanku sama seperti yang telah kau ajarkan kepada kami, betapa dunia ini lebih hina daripada bangkai….Betapa bencinya aku pada dunia dan sangat rindu akan akherat…”
Ketikaku mencari sesuatu yang menginginkan ketenangan,ku menemuiMu,hati bahagia bagaikan ditemani selalu,Kau mendengar rintihanku,Kau hadirkan seseorang bagi menemaniku,namun kehadirannya membuat ku alpa akan kasihMu.
Mengejar pemberianMu yang ku sangka akan membuahkan kebahagian, tidak pernah dapat ku raih,
Ku cuba mencari sesuatu yang ku kehilangan tanpa redha Mu, membuatkan diri terasa semakin jauh dariMu.
Tatkala ku sedar akan kesilapanku, Engkau menerima ku, namun ujian adalah tanda kasihMu, Engkau Maha mendengar taubat ku, ujian demi ujian Kau beri bagi ku tempuh untuk meraih kasih sayangMu yang telah hilang tanpa ku sedari.
Ku cuba mengejar sepenuh hati, menagih keampunan dan kasihMu, ampunkanlah dosa hamba Mu ini Ya Allah ..
Ku sedar kesilapanku..
Love
: I’m picking up the car key, I’ll be there in 15 minutes, i’m not bringing my phone.
Loving Allah:
Ok.
(Hanged up the phone….45 minutes later..)Loving Allah:
Astaghfirullah al azim…I forgot..
(quickly ran down to the car park)
Love:Where were you?
(frowning and grumbling)
Loving Allah: I’m sorry, I was carried away with my job.
Love:I’ve been waiting for a long time!
(Shuts the door, and drove off)
Loving Allah: (Silent and hurt)
Went to the library and sat down on a sofa.Hoping that hurt feeling just washed away, but it did not….remained silent and hurt.
Grabbed the nearest book and turned a few pages ….took out a mobile phone, put the ear piece to the right ear and listened to ‘Doaku’ by Hadad Alwi….While reading….and listening….
Subbhannallah! La Tahzan!!! Burst into tears…
Feeling Allah is so near…tears ran down the cheek, feeling calm and undescribable…..
Assalammualaikum warahmatullahiwabaakatu
It has been a while i havent been writing any post lately. There are so many things going on, that keep on putting away my real focus in life. NO WAY!! Wont let that happen… hubss hubss….
‘Iman’ is the only way that keeps us focus on the right path…Allah gives us strength…
Test comes and goes….test is how Allah shows His Love to us…
Alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah…
Assalammualaikum warahmatullahhi wabarakatuh
As I woke up this morning, the first thing I wanted to see is the sky. I’ve been reading tafseers and hadith regarding lailatul Qadr. Last night was the 27th night of Ramadhan.
As I look up the sky, the sun is blocked by clusters of cloud.The sky is cloudy with patches of grey shadows, the breeze is calming and soothing. Subbahannallah….
Last few weeks ago or perhaps days ago, i broke my lappy. Funny thing, i didnt cry or really think about it.
Bismillahhirrahmannirrahim.
Sad? Ofcourse i should be feeling so, but when i think about it again, I kept on reassuring myself, Allah takes away something, He surely replaces it back with something better than that.
Knowing that I love roses, anything in particular that has roses patterns or design, it will really really caught my attention.
It’s just so wonderful.
Back to my lappy story, I bought another lappy few days ago. It comes in package. Back home, feeling eager and impatient unpcking my new gadget, i was stunned looking at my mousepad! Why? Eheh, it got rose printed on it.
I uttered out, “Who planted these roses on my new mouse pad?”
“Eh, I wasn’t being picky on this.”
“Who planned this?Who knows I like roses?”
Duh, pekessseddd…Allah planned all these…hubs hubss…All I can say thank you Allah !!
Assalammualaikum warahmah
Ramadhan ramadhan….Few more days here comes Syawal. I don’t want to leave Ramadhan…:( *sigh*
What if I don’t get the chance to see Ramadhan next year? What if my sins will builds up and up again?
Ramadhan is full of blessings and chances to seek for forgiveness from Allah is really really what I aimed for. Especially when comes to hunting the special night Lailatul Qadar.
This is the month of test.
I like to look back at this little book that my sister gave me dated 7th september 1996 as my birthday gift then. The title of the book is “Rahsia Puasa dan Keutamaan Ramadhan” It’s minute and very handy.
Funny, as i did’nt read the book then, but, it became my reference two years after that, until today and insyaAllah as much as it could. Amazing. Allah has planned perfectly. ‘He’ gave me the book two years before I had fallen in love with my Ad-Din.I didn’t know what to do with the book then, apart from treasuring it as a sentimental value.
Nope, not anymore. It’s more than that now. It’s the content of that book which gave me a wake up call on the Value of this month.
This month has become more than a ‘Sentimental value’ for me….
Bismillaahirrahmanirrahim
Salam. Hope all of us are in Allah ’s blessings and He is the only one that can give all the blessings. SubbahannAllah.
Days after days, hours after hours, minutes after minutes, seconds after seconds, time never waits for us. It’s so amazing when looking back down the road, analysing the ups and downs that I’ve gone through years after years. Didn’t realise how Islam slowly blends into my life for almost 10 years already….plus minus all the fluctuating Iman, that leaves to less than 10 years. *sigh*
I just feel that my Iman is still not enough compensating all the blessings and gifts from Allah . SubbahannaAllah. But I know Allah is Ar-Rahman…Ar-Rahim…He loves all His servants who remembers Him and all that we need to do is just constantly chase His Love. The love that He constantly gives without us realising it. *sigh* Plus no matter how bad we are, He still gives us that love.
No matter how much you chase other love than Allah , it is still His Love that gives more and more compared to any other love.
But…….
“Mudah-mudahan Allah menimbulkan kasih sayang antaramu dengan orang-orang yang kamu musuhi di antara mereka. Dan Allah adalah Maha Kuasa. Dan Allah lah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang” (Al-Mumtahanah ayat 7)
Assalammualaikum Warahmatullah
Assalammualaikum…….huhuhu i know i havent been writing here….It has been a while, huh?Hmm…..typical me, busy superwoman? Nay~~~
I remember a friend of mine mentioned that, there are symptoms of stress by which people do not realise…
“owh”, i said “really? Such as?”
And she said…”Writing in a diary”
…..hahahha true true…..especially when we are really2 down, and we do not have anyone to talk to….mostly ‘girls’ would write in their diary…hmmm today its more likely to be ‘blogs’.
But She continues….”Its good having a diary, because it in return ‘heals’ the ’stress’.”
Hmm…..’yarr’ this is one of the reason i’m writing, hahahha, i’m not happy tonight. I can’t sleep, thinking all my ups and downs….here is my story…
Just now, as i was laying down on my bed, i found my quran that i just bought today laying next to me. So i said to myself “ehhh i better look through this quran rather than thinking all the ‘menyakitkan kepala’ hahaha…”
And guess what, i just turn to a page in the Quran, with all my sad feelings hoping to get something out of it without referring to any ayat specifically…then wooshhh Surah Al-Hadid Ayat 22..
“No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al Lauh Al MAhfuz) before We bring it into existence. Verily that, is easy for Allah ”
Then I saw a little foot note relate to that ayat…..saying:
Narrated Ibn Abbas (RadiaAllahu anhu): “Once I was behind the Prophet (S.A.W)and he said:”O boy, I will teach you a few words:
a) Be loyal and obedient to Allah [worship Him(alone)], remember Him always, obey His Orders. He will save you from every evil and will take care of you in all the spheres of life.
b) Be loyal and obedient to Allah , you will find Him near (infront of you) i.e. He will respond to your requests.
c)If you ask, ask Allah .
There…..we don’t need diary…..we don’t need blog but we need Allah ……The reason why i write tonight, another friend of mine indirectly reminded me about this abandoned blog….So here…..I said to myself…..Ahahhh…..Quran really drives me to continue my dakwah here. I need to write….share this ayat with anyone out there who could be having the same feeling as i do ‘just now”..ehemmm…being sad? HEhehehe
Bah ehhh nah sleepy eyes….I love you Quran……;)
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